rock bottom

I am literally at the bottom. I cant believe Ive let myself into this mess

a few weeks ago I met this guy called tito. hes a drug dealer and through him I sampled some new stuff.. mephedrone, ketamine, crystal coke... all was well and that then he asked me about heroin.. my philosiphy is (or was) try everything once, so I went for it. he got some brown, we rolled a few H cigerettes and off we went. such an amazing feeling. I felt so warm and relaxed. ive literally never felt better. a few days later I really wanted that feeling again, so we did it again. now it's got to a point where I can't do without it. saturday was my last day with it and I'm so ill. I'm off college because im trying to give up.. ive never wanted something more. all I can do is try and distract myself. I havent slept since sunday night and that was just a measely 2 or so hours.
watching daytime tv until I feel sick, watching the same films over and over, masturbating until it hurts, lying in bed crying, browsing the internet for stupid things... this is what my life has become. it's the worst thing that could have happened. I literally want to die.
I have no money left. I spent it all on heroin with tito, I sold my phone for skag money and I've slept with tito at least 3 times just for a hit. the worst part is, he told me I can't buy more with sex anymore, which is actually the reason I'm stopping. the last H rolly I had was bought with money I stole from mum.

no one even knows. I need money so bad. I need one last bit before I kick it. I don't even think I can kick it.. no one cares enough. I want to die